A bit of a strange question QUESTION from John July 31, 2001 A few days ago I asked about a force that seemed to be following me throuout my life. Your answer was helpful to say the least.
In my question I had mentioned some minor experiences during the time in which I did not encounter this thing. I would like to ask about one of my minor experiences in more detail.
First of all, the second time I saw it, I made the mistake of looking into it's eyes and I was parylized with fear. The next thing I knew I heard a man's voice behind me speaking a language I have never heard telling me to run and suddenly I could move again (this is interesting because since the divorce I have been the only male in the family). I have felt that for the past 12 years this thing has been a part of my darker emotions. On occasion in the past I was known to be cruel to other children (in a sadistic manner--I knew what would hurt them the worst and put it to full use for my own best interests).
When I was in high school I had 3 dreams over 3 consecutive nights. Each dream was in a different setting but had the same basic theme I was fighting (physically) with an evil version of me.
In the final dream the good me won out but rather than putting an end to evil me, saved it's life and let it go. The other version of me in these dreams had one significant physical difference from me it's eyes were the eyes that I looked into at the age of 7. Since those dreams I have been a kind, gentle person. I have also done all in my ability to control my darker impulses, but they are still there and do on occasion manifest into action. Nothing even close to what I used to do but the impulse is still there to take those same actions just not the conscious desire (this was never really there but until I had these dreams I had some problems controlling my impulses).
Is it possible that this thing did manage to take control of my darker side?
John
ANSWER by John-Paul Ignatius, OLSM on July 27, 2001 Dear Mr. John:
This sounds like a mere dream to me -- a working out of the inner conflicts within your personality.
Although the dark entity that you described in your previous question may indeed been real, the way you express yourself here leads me to suspect that whatever was going on with you as a child was also influenced by the power of suggestion from the media. We can never underestimate the power of suggestion that the media has. It is powerful. We all have a darker side and the impulses of that darker side can be tapped easily by the media. It can also play itself out in our dreams.
I think you need to stop thinking about dark impulses and realize that you have naturally an ability to do good and an ability to do bad. It is called being a sinner. 98% of the dark impulse are not something demonic or of something specially dark within ourselves, it is just being a sinner, it is the flesh.
Son, you may have had an encounter with a demon, but most of what you are experiencing now, most likely, is what it is like to be human. You are a sinner and you will have sinful impulses. This is natural. The Church with her sacraments and sacramentals and saints are here to help you to curbed those sinful impulses. But don't make more out of it than it is.
But if you believe there is a still a demonic element, then use the sacramentals and sacraments of the Church, the devotions to the saints, and the spiritual warfare prayers provided here to deal with it. But don't jump to conclusions that all this MUST be something darkly spiritual. It is most likely not.
And if there was a Thing at one time that might have been a demon bothering you, DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT, try to figure it out now. If it is not bothering you anymore, praise God and LET IT GO.
We are taught in the bible to stop worrying about the past, we cannot change it. And to stop worrying about the future, it hasn't gotten here yet. We need to focus on the here and now, the today. Let the past go, and let tomorrow take care of itself.
In addition, one of the hardest lessons to learn in spiritual warfare is that evil is arbitrary. It has no reason. And trying to figure it out will only make you go nuts. Whatever that thing was, who knows what its purpose and goals were.
But to answer your question directly Is it possible that this thing did manage to take control of my darker side?
..... NO it did not have control of your darker side, Luke.
Signed, Obewan Kenobe
:-)
sorry, couldn't resist. :-)
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